i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize