I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
