I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
