i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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