I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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