Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
