I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
