May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
