i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
