You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize
