I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
