That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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