i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My ATM looks so different sober.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
