I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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