I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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