Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
