I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
