cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize