i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize