Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize