you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
