He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize