For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
