I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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