at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
