My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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