So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
