He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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