It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
