she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
