Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize