all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
