I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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