everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Green mimosas i think yes
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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