hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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