I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
