Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
