I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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