Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
