So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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