The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
