also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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