I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
