clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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