To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
