What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
