I hate all girls vehemently.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
