I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
