I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
