Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
