So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
