just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
