He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize