Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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