We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
