how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
